Category Archives: Ephesians
Glorious Submission
Text: Ephesians 5:22-24 9/17/2010
Thesis: Submission is the joyful commitment of self to either accomplish the desire of or be a benefit to another.
The Gospel is the good news that God himself has come to rescue, reconcile, and renew his creation through the work of Jesus Christ on our behalf. Last week we saw that godly husbands love and work to sanctify their wives because of the gospel. Since husbands are loved and sanctified through the self-sacrifice of Christ they are empowered to embrace the meaning of marriage and thereby love and work for the sanctification of their wives. And what is the meaning of marriage? Marriage ultimately exists to display the covenant keeping love of Christ and his church. Husbands, I know this past week God put you into situations that demanded gospel-trust. My hope is that because of Christ you were faithful; faithful to trust Christ in the situation or faithful to trust Christ in repentance. From now on know this: your life depends on the gospel. And wives you are no different. Today we turn our attention to your role in marriage and more specifically we’re going to look at how the gospel of Jesus Christ informs and creates your role of marriage. We’re going to be talking about submission and I want to show you how there is a thread of submission that runs throughout the gospel. Submission is not about a wife’s role or duty in a marriage. Submission is ultimately about Christ, his church, and the blessed calling on every wife to life in step with the gospel. Simply put, submission is the joyful commitment of self to accomplish the desire of or be a benefit to another. And because submission is grounded in Christ submission is glorious.
Read Hebrews 10:1-10
I. The Gospel is all about the submissive Son
Submission is the commitment of self to accomplish the desire of another.
A. John 5:19-20
The Son is totally committed to the person and will of the Father (19)
In verse 19 Jesus is telling us what he can and cannot do. First, he cannot do anything of himself. This is a phenomenal statement coming from the Word who made everything. This is the omnipotent Son of God speaking and he tells us plainly that he does not have the power or ability to do anything of himself. Now let me ask you. Is this inability caused by some defect in the Son? Is there some intellectual or physical flaw that would cause the Son to not have the power to do anything of himself? Obviously not. The perfect Son committed himself completely to accomplishing the will of the Father. All of the Son’s desires and actions became submissive to the Father because of the Son’s relationship with and commitment to the Father. So, Jesus can’t do anything of himself. Instead, he only does what he sees the Father doing.
Jesus takes his direction completely from the Father. The Father and Son live in absolute harmony with each other. Never a note played slightly off key; never a beat slightly ahead or behind the other. The Son doesn’t chart his own independent course. The Son willingly commits himself to accomplishing the will of the Father. The Father is working his will so whatever the Son sees the Father doing he goes and does. The Son is totally committed to the person and will of the Father.
The Father is totally committed to the Son (20)
Now how is it possible that the Son sees the Father working? Why does verse 20 tell us that the Father and Son are so harmoniously committed? “Because the Father loves the Son and shows him all that he himself is doing.”
The willing submission of the Son to the Father is because of the Father’s love for the Son. Why does the Son joyfully and totally embrace the will of the Father even unto the death? Because the Son knows the Father loves him. And this love is intimate. The Father shows the Son all that the Father is doing. The Father never hides what he is doing from the Son but out of love for his son and out of a desire to be unified with his son he shows the Son everything he is doing.
B. This truth should affect your marriage.
Submission is not about value.
The Son submits to the Father because of love not because the Father is smarter or because the Son is lesser. A wife does not submit to her husband because the husband is smarter or because the wife is not as valuable as the husband. Submission is born out of love.
Husbands it is ungodly to demand submission.
Biblical submission in the husband/wife relationship is not first about authority. Biblical submission in a marriage is first about love. Husbands, we are never told to raise up or cultivate a submissive wife. Instead, we must love to the death for the purpose of her sanctification.
“The biblical model for marriage is that of loving complementarity, where the husband and the wife are partners who value and respect each other and where the husband’s loving leadership is met with the wife’s intelligent response. If Christ chooses to submit to God the Father while being equal in worth and personhood, there seems to be no good reason why God could not have designed the husband-and-wife relationship in such a way that the wife is called to submit to the man while likewise being equal in worth and personhood. As Paul writes to the Corinthians, “but I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God” 1 Corinthians 11:3 (Kostenberger, 75).”
The Son Submits to the Father
II. The Gospel creates a submissive church
Submission is the commitment of self to accomplish the desire of another.
A. Ephesians 5:23-24
The church’s submission to Christ is based on relationship
Last week from verses 29-32 we saw some powerful truths. First, we learned that the church and Christ have become one; they have been joined together by God. And because we are members of his body he nourishes and cherishes us. Jesus causes or allows everything good and everything difficult in your life because he loves you and wants you to grow up to be like him.
The church submits to Christ
The word ‘submit’ in verse 24 is an easy word to understand. It means to align yourself under another. The church brings its desires, its plans, its very future and happiness not alongside Christ as His equal but under Christ as one who is dependent. Verse 23 gives us two reasons why Jesus is the head of the Church. First, Christ is the head of the church because we are his body. We have spiritual life and strength only because of him (Eph 4:16). He has sanctified us and given us spiritual life and made us his own. He is our head and we are his body. Now we understand the second reason verse 23 tell us that we are his body: because he is our Savior.
All that we are and all that we do depend on who he is and what he has done. Unlike Jesus, we are imperfect, we are foolish, we are weak. So the church’s submission to Christ is similar but not the same as the Son’s submission to the Father. The Son submits to the Father because he is totally committed to the Father; the Son does nothing of himself because of his great love and not some defect in himself. We do not come to Christ our head as equals but as dependents.
B. This truth should affect your marriage
Husbands you are not Jesus and your wife is not the church
Your wife is not dependent on you to provide salvation. Your wife is looking to you to love her and give yourself up for her benefit. Don’t think of yourself more highly than you ought. You’re not Jesus. You’re not her Messiah, deliverer, or rescuer. Husbands don’t look at yourself this way and wives don’t look for your husband to provide these things.
Men, you are a dependent creature. As a member of the church, as a member of Christ’s body, you need Christ to cleanse you and strengthen you in order to be the man your wife needs. The submission of the church teaches a lesson to husbands. You are not your own man. You are a submissive member of the body of Christ. When you understand your need for Christ it will help you live with your wife in an understanding way. Men, in regards to Christ and the church, we are the weaker vessel.
Here is the second way the truth of the church’s submission to Christ should affect your marriage:
Don’t expect submission from your wife if you don’t work for submission in this church.
I am convinced that there is epidemic of insubordination in the family because there is an epidemic of insubordination in the church. Your wife is watching you and she knows if you ignore the headship of Christ in the church or if you are working to lead the church to submit in everything to Christ. She sees if you want to submit to your head or not. Christ has revealed to us how he wants us to behave as a church. Again, I am convinced that as we bring our life as a church family under Christ it will encourage glorious submission in our families.
The Gospel creates a submissive church
III. The Gospel empowers the submissive wife
Submission is the commitment of self to accomplish the desire of another.
A. Ephesians 5:22-24
A godly husband and Christ want the same things
Christ does and a husband is meant to look at his bride and want her sanctification. He looks at her and so desperately wants her to be holy that he is willing to give his life to accomplish that goal. Verse 24, “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”
Submit to the one who wants your purity above all else.
Now godly submission does not mean there will be no difficulties. In fact, godly submission may increase difficulties because when we submit to Christ we are submitting to the one who above all else wants us to change. We submit to the one who promises to change us into his own image. Don’t be surprised when submission is difficult or calls for radical change. This is certainly true with Christ and might be true in your marriage.
We also need to keep in mind that submission is all encompassing.
Partial submission is insubordination. A church that only submits one day a week is not a submissive church. A wife that only submits in one area or a few areas is not submissive. She’s manipulative. The wife and church who hold back are doing so in order to get something from their bridegroom. Submission is the willingness to commit everything, your whole self, to accomplish the desire of another.
Husbands were called to honesty in response to the Father loving the Son and showing him all that he does. Now, wives are called to honesty. You have no wiggle room. Are you keeping secrets from your husband; doing what you know he would not approve? A lack of trust or keeping things from one another is a warning sign. God is bringing it to your attention today so that you will believe the gospel, go to Christ for help and find healing in your marriage.
In our Ephesians 5 passage we also see that submission is not an option or a suggestion but God’s plan for your marriage.
Verse 22 simply states, “Wives, submit to your own husbands.” The command to love your wife and the command to submit to your husband are easy to understand. We just don’t want to do them because both demand that in humility we consider others more significant than ourselves (Philippians 2:3). But God is clear with us because he does not want us to miss his glorious plan for our marriage. Husbands love and wives submit. Ladies, this is God’s will for you.
Submission is a God-ward act of faith
Keep reading in verse 22 and we see this, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” This does not mean that your husband is Christ and you are certainly not supposed to view him as such or even pray in your husband’s name like he is Christ. Instead, when you are submitting to your husband it is right to see it as an act of faith. You are trusting Christ as you submit to your husband.
Colossians 3:18-22 deals with wives submitting to the husbands, husbands loving their wives, children obeying their parents, fathers not provoking their children, and slaves obeying their masters. Then verse 23 states, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” Your work is not for some master or employer or the government or the bank that holds your mortgage. You are to work hard at the job in front of you as an act of worship. You’re working for the Lord. Wives submit to your husband not so that your husband can get his way but so that Jesus will be glorified in your attitude and in your actions. Submit to him as unto the Lord.
So wives, submission is personal (you do this to your own husband), submission is God-ward (done as to the Lord), and submission is all encompassing (submit in everything). Apart from being filled with the Holy Spirit (Eph 5:18) this is impossible. As your husband is filled with the Holy Spirit and loves you and sacrifices for your benefit submission will become easier.
But husband you are not called to love your wife only as she submits and respects you. And wife you’re not called to submit only to him as he loves you. Husbands, if she was already sanctified and pure and perfect she wouldn’t need your loving self-sacrifice. You’re dying to make her what she’s not. Don’t demand that she be something you’re not willing to help her become. Wives don’t demand that your husband be Jesus before you submit to him. Submit to him as an act of faith to the Lord.
IV. What about the unbelieving husband?
Submission is the commitment of self to benefit another.
A. 1 Peter 3:1-2
The general principle issuing from Peter’s counsel is that leading unbelievers to Christ is a greater cause than insisting on justice in human relationships. Believers are to defer their craving for justice until the last day, trusting God as Jesus did (Kostenberger, 63).
The submission that God calls you to in 1 Peter 3 is not being a doormat or an accomplice to your husband’s sin. God is calling you to sacrifice to painful degrees for the purpose of your husband’s salvation. Let me ask you, where else have we seen someone giving up his own rights and suffering in levels of pain that are beyond what any of us have ever experienced? I’m talking about the work of Christ when he became a man, lived a sinless life, was tortured by sinful men, was hung on the cross, and died for your salvation. He trusted himself to God. He gave up everything even his own life, for you.
Ladies, does the gospel of Jesus Christ shape the way you live as a wife? Does the quiet sacrifice of Christ inform the way you go about achieving what God wants in your marriage? Does the ultimate sacrifice of Christ and the priceless good he accomplished bring you hope as you look at what is broken? I don’t think God is calling us this morning to better communication, biting our tongues, or just going along with your husband’s hairbrained idea. God is calling us today to believe the gospel. Christ has come purchasing our salvation. The blood he shed sanctifies us completely; His work makes us holy. Everything we have done and said and thought has been cleansed by Christ. And the blood of Christ strengthens us to do God’s will. Husbands you can love your wife like Christ loved the church and you can give yourself up for her sanctification. Wives you can submit to your husband like the church submits to Christ. But it won’t happen because we have better communication skills, an organized home, or a raise in pay. We will successfully fulfill God’s plan for our marriages to the extent that we believe the Gospel. Giving ourselves up, speaking the truth in love, and submitting to one another is a product of sanctification.
Husbands and wives, Christ is calling you to trust him for everything. You are not good enough. You are not strong enough. You cannot do the right thing or say the right thing. Its only Christ. Cry out to Him. Abide in Him. Follow Him.
Marriage; Genesis 2:24
Marriage
Text: Genesis 2:24 9/5/2010
Thesis: Marriage exists ultimately to display the covenant keeping love between Christ and his church.
I. Creation is the cause marriage is the effect
Where does marriage come from?
A. God created male and female (Genesis 1:27)
B. God created male and female to be married (Genesis 2:24)
1. Jesus makes the connection between creation and marriage explicit in Matthew 19:4-5
C. Marriage is natural, singleness is a gift, divorce is unnatural
1. Singleness is a gift (Matthew 19:10-12; 1 Cor 7:6-7)
2. Divorce is unnatural (Matthew 19:6; 1 Cor 7:10-11)
Marriage is normal, natural, and good because of the way God created us.
So where does marriage come from? Marriage comes from god’s perfect work in creation.
II. Marriage is a union by God confirmed by a covenant
What makes a marriage?
A. God’s joins a man and woman together in marriage
1. God joins male and female together (Mt 19:6; Gen 2:24)
2. Male and female confirm that union by entering into a covenant
a) 3 views of marriage (sacrament, contract, or covenant)
What makes a marriage? A marriage is made when God joins a man and woman together and that union is confirmed by a covenant
III. Marriage exists ultimately to display the covenant-keeping love of Christ and his church. (John Piper)
What is the purpose of marriage?
A. The gospel is the sun and marriage is the moon (Eph 5:22-33)
B. Christ’s covenant gives structure and strength to the marriage covenant
1. Structure- husbands love to the death like Christ and wives submit to the one who loves you
2. Strength- forgiveness/empowerment
a) It is the blood of Christ, the blood of the covenant, that removes sin and guilt (Hebrews 10:29)
b) It is the blood of Christ, the blood of the covenant, that equips us for healthy marriages (Heb 13:20&21)
So what is the purpose of marriage? To display the covenant-keeping love of Christ and his church.
C. Marriages rise or fall at this point
1. You have been given a spouse for the display of God’s glory
a) Your spouse was given to you by God so that your relationship will show the forgiving and strengthening power of Christ in a multitude of ways.
2. Your faithfulness in marriage depends on Christ
a) Because of the blood of Christ I can ask for and be given forgiveness with God. If I can have forgiveness for the wrong I have done to God then I can certainly have forgiveness for the wrong I have done to my spouse.
b) God gave me this spouse and I, because of the blood of Christ, have access to everything good for a faithful marriage. No marriage is hopeless.
c) What we must do is meditate on Christ and feed on his powerful word. Stop feeding and meditating on your spouse’s mistakes or your own sin. Find ways to keep the truth of Christ and not the short-comings of your spouse in front of your eyes. Find ways to keep the truth of Christ in front of your spouse. Find ways to keep the truth of Christ in front of your church family.
d) 2 ways today- sing the truth of Christ for all to hear and remember the sanctifying and strengthening work of Christ for you by celebrating the Lord’s Supper.
IV. So here is how we are going to prepare to sing and celebrate
A. Think of everything wrong you have ever done, said, or thought. Think of everything right that you didn’t do or say. Think of the pain, frustration, and hardship that you have caused your spouse, your self, your family, and your church.
1. Now think about Christ. His blood, the blood of the covenant poured out on the cross, sanctifies you. Because of Christ and his sacrifice you are forgiven, clean, pure, and holy. Christ takes it all away in order to restore you to God and your spouse and your family. Think of the great work of Christ.
B. Now think about what God wants you to do
1. Maybe you need to confess your sin and ask forgiveness. Maybe you are a long way from a joy-filled Christ-centered marriage. If you are married it is God’s will that you display the covenant-keeping love of Christ and his church. And rejoice that no matter how far off you may be today the blood of Christ is sufficient to equip you to change.
a) A healthy marriage, a godly family, and a faithful church are not easy wins but we have Christ. We live and work and play on his team. So faith is not the belief that everything is just going to fall in place. Faith is the belief that as you struggle and deal with sin and work for change Christ will strengthen you, sustain you, and fill you with joy. The blood of Christ has been provided. Now we must trust and follow him. Now we must sing and celebrate.
Children, Parents, & Fathers; Ephesians 6:1-4
Text: Ephesians 6:1-4 8/10/08 a.m.
Thesis: Our goal is to love God; the outcome is obedience.
Intro: We as parents naturally want children who obey and honor us. The wonderful thing this morning is that God has told us how to raise-up our children so that they are obedient and respectful.
I’m not going to pull any punches. We’ll start this morning with the kids and God’s expectation for them.
Then we’ll talk to the parents and how it is your responsibility to cultivate obedient and respectful hearts in your children by the type of person you are and the way you teach your kids.
Now the thing is, parents do not demand obedience in the same way that husbands do not demand submission and wives do not demand love.
Instead, out of a love for God parents raise up godly children, children obey, husbands love, and wives submit. It’s not because parents, children, husbands, or wives are worthy.
We fulfill God’s calling because:
One, God has showered his love upon us in Jesus Christ. In response to His love for us we love and obey Him.
Second, God has poured out infinite grace upon us in Jesus Christ. We are forgiven of every sin and equipped to obey every command because of Jesus’ sacrifice and righteousness.
We want to raise up generation after generation of children, parents, and fathers who love Christ and joyfully follow God’s will.
Read Ephesians 5:32-6:4
I) How to raise obedient children
a) Notice something interesting as we get into this
i) Children were in church with their parents. The Holy Spirit had all ages in mind when He inspired Paul to write, “To the saints who are in Ephesus, and are faithful in Christ Jesus” (Eph 1:1).
ii) When this letter was read to the congregation it was read to one congregation. It wasn’t read to the congregation of adults then taken next door to the congregation of the youth and then dumbed way down for the congregation of children.
iii) Apparently God thinks children can be addressed in the church congregation just like husbands, wives, and parents.
iv) Children don’t need the word of God watered down they need to be trained up in the word of God and the place to do that is right beside mom and dad.
v) Here’s what we should do for the children of the church
b) Teach them God’s good plan of authority
i) Children, “obey your parents in the Lord” is the equivalent of “wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” in Ephesians 5:22 and “slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ” in Ephesians 5:5.
ii) Peter O’Brien wrote this and it is very helpful, “Obedience is part of [your child’s] discipleship. [Obedience] is not rendered simply because of the parents’ greater authority or status” (441).
iii) Obedience is a sign of growing maturity in Christ.
iv) As husbands learn to love their wives and wives learn to submit to their husbands so also children learn to obey their parents.
v) If this were not the case fathers would not be told to train up their children. If children knew what to do and how to do it then there would be no need for discipline and instruction.
vi) Also, we must realize that we are fallen creatures redeemed in Jesus Christ. We are learning all the time and growing every day.
vii) It is not natural to love to the death, submit to your husbands, or obey your parents.
viii) It is natural to throw off all authority and responsibility so you can live only for yourself. Sin comes naturally not love and obedience.
ix) It cannot be assumed that every Christian understands godly authority in marriage, the home, the church, or in government. Husbands are taught how to love.
x) Wives are taught how to submit. Children are taught how to obey. Authority is God’s gift and when used correctly it is a great blessing to all.
xi) So why should a child obey?
c) First, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right
i) For a child to obey his/her parents in the Lord is for the child to realize that God has placed that mom or dad in authority for the good of the child.
ii) When a child obeys godly authority it is as if that child is obeying Christ. And it is always right to obey Christ.
iii) The principle here is to always do what honors Christ.
iv) Obeying your parents godly direction honors Christ.
v) This does not mean you will never suffer or be defrauded. In all honesty if you follow Christ you can expect persecution (2 Timothy 3:12).
vi) I’ll be honest and tell you that obeying your parent may cause some suffering but suffering doesn’t make it wrong. If it’s sinful that makes it wrong.
vii) If it is not sinful then obey.
viii) The reason is because this life is not about your comfort or financial improvement.
ix) This life is all about living out a flesh and blood illustration of Christ and the church.
x) Children, you glorify God when you obey your parents. Your obedience pleases God. But you bring dishonor to God when you disobey your parents.
xi) First, children obey because it is right; it glorifies God.
d) Second, children obey because it is commanded.
i) The fifth commandment of the ten commandments says, “honor your father and your mother”.
ii) Obedience is right; it glorifies God. And honoring your parents is commanded by God.
iii) To honor your parents means to value them or to show them respect.
iv) Let me bring it into the open and say one of the hardest things a man will do is not just lead and provide for his wife but love his wife and die for her.
v) One of the hardest things a wife will do is not just submitting to her husband but respect him also.
vi) And one of the hardest things a child will do is honoring his/her parents.
vii) Our saving grace is this, if you love Christ you will obey his commandments (John 14:15).
viii) As our love for Christ increases so will our obedience. Marriages, parents, and children don’t need more tips on communication, discipline, and chores.
ix) We need to give ourselves to knowing Christ. When we love God rightly it will lead us to love our neighbors rightly.
x) Jesus said in Matthew 6:33, “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.”
xi) I guarantee where there is difficulty in a relationship on this earth it is somewhere the product of difficulty between a husband, wife, parent, or child and God.
xii) Children, turn in your bibles to Romans chapter 1. Follow along as I read Romans 1:28-32. (read it)
xiii) A person who disobeys his parents is identified by God as a lost person. And a lost person is someone who is not a Christian.
xiv) So kids, before you get caught do you ever feel guilty for doing what you know is wrong? That’s a good sign. It’s the conviction of the Spirit.
xv) Do you feel guilty when you are a part of a group that is involved in disobeying some one’s parents? That’s a good sign. It’s the discipline of God.
xvi) If you can disobey your parents and are a part of a group that disobeys parents and not feel bad about it that’s probably because you aren’t a Christian.
xvii) But here’s the good news. Every act of disobedience, every sin, has been paid for by Christ.
xviii) Christ died on the cross because your sin had to be punished. Jesus took your punishment and Jesus died for you. You are forgiven and made pure in God.
xix) There’s even more good news. If you are joined to Christ by repentance and faith then your obedience means great reward.
e) The third reason a child obeys is so that the promise will come true.
i) Here’s the promise, Ephesians 6:3, “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
ii) If you’ve been doing the individual readings every day over the past week or so in Jeremiah you’ve heard God the Father say some frightening things to his disobedient children Israel.
iii) God said in Jeremiah 32:31, “This city has aroused my anger and wrath, from the day it was built to this day, so that I will remove it from my sight because of all the evil of the children of Israel and the children of Judah that they did to provoke me to anger.”
iv) God then says in Jeremiah 33:5 that he will “strike down men, there will be dead bodies, because of all their evil”
v) God punishes disobedience. The children of Israel disobeyed their father so they were punished.
vi) The good news of the gospel says that all those who trust in Christ have had their punishment removed and are now in a place of blessing.
vii) Christ is our propitiation for sins. He has swallowed up all our punishment. And he showers grace upon us.
viii) Jesus takes the punishment for every sin of every child who turns to him; no matter that child’s age.
ix) And in Jesus we are blessed. It will go well with you that you may live long in the land.
x) Obedience is right and glorifies God, obedience is commanded, and obedience leads to good things.
xi) Obedience leads to a useful life and keeps us from living wasted lives.
xii) Obedience keeps us from doing ignorant things that could hurt or even kill us.
xiii) Children of all ages, God commands obedience for your good. Obey your parents. In this
II) Fathers have a special responsibility
a) Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger
i) Dad, if you live the example of following Christ and if you set the standards high there will be plenty that causes your child to get angry.
ii) Insist that your child keep his/her room clean and you will cause your child to get angry from time to time.
iii) What we are being told to avoid here are the ridiculous standards, harsh words, sarcastic jokes, and uncaring attitudes that so many dad have today.
iv) We fathers foster resentment in our children when we make promises that we don’t keep.
v) We fathers plant the root of bitterness in our children when we don’t love our wives and lead our families.
vi) Dads, you want to tick your kids off? Then don’t love momma. Treat your wife like trash or just let her live without love under “your roof” and I guarantee you will provoke your children and God to anger.
vii) When you seek to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord there will be plenty for them to get worked up about.
viii) Be sure you’re not fueling the fire by being cold, unrealistic, or by making fun of your kids.
ix) Let’s get to the positive stuff
b) Fathers, bring up your children
i) The Holy Spirit could have used the word parents like He did in verse 1 but knowing how important it is for dads to lead and be involved in their kids’ lives we have the admonition, “Fathers…bring them up.”
ii) I think about my family this way. My job is like the first 3 quarters of a football game.
iii) That transition from work to home is like the transition from one end of the field to the other between quarters 3&4 in a football game.
iv) The 4th quarter is not the time to coast or give up. The 4th quarter is time to turn up the heat.
v) When you go home, when you’re home for the weekend, it’s not time to hit the showers and take it easy.
vi) When you go home it’s time to step up your game. It’s time to execute with precision. It’s time to pay attention to the basics because your tired and we all tend to get sloppy when we get tired.
vii) Dads, God commands that we raise our children. We lead them. We love them. We disciple them. We discipline them. Here’s what that looks like
c) Fathers, bring up your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord
i) When we think of discipline we often think only of punishment for a wrong. Though this corrective nuance is there in the biblical understanding of discipline it is in the minority.
ii) The majority idea in the biblical understanding of discipline is that of training. It’s the model of discipleship.
iii) The child’s obedience and the father’s obedience are both qualified by the influence of Christ.
iv) Children obey in the Lord while fathers utilize the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
v) Paul used this word, ‘discipline or training’ only one other time in the New Testament.
vi) In 2 Timothy 3:16&17 Paul wrote, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.”
vii) Scripture is inspired by God and a benefit for training in righteousness.
viii) Fathers, you want to know how to raise your children up to be loving and obedient followers of Christ? Pour scripture into them.
ix) And it’s not just a matter of reading Scripture to them or setting them straight doctrinally.
x) What fathers are to do with their children is what Jesus did with the 12 disciples.
xi) Live with them, enjoy them, use every opportunity to teach them, and most of all model for them what it means to follow God.
xii) Dads do you want your children to know they are dearly loved and cherished by God?
xiii) Guess what the best way to teach them is? Love and cherish your wife. Love and cherish their mother.
xiv) We want our children to say, “I know Jesus loves the church because I know how much my dad loves my mom and my dad is one sorry sinner saved by grace.”
xv) If daddy’s love is that good than the love of Christ has got to be indescribable.
xvi) Discipline them in the Lord. Use godly correction and model godliness for them. Pay attention to what you do and pay attention to what you say.
xvii) That’s the instruction part. We’re talking about the verbal teaching and admonition that go on in a godly household.
xviii) A godly household is not a household where nothing goes wrong and everyone obeys perfectly.
xix) That’s heaven. A godly household is a household where wrongs and disobedience are dealt with biblically.
xx) That means there is appropriate punishment, loving instruction in what is write, and more grace than any human can imagine.
xxi) If all you do is discipline: spank them, ground them, and make them hold hands with their sister, then you are not going where God calls you to grow.
xxii) You must instruct them about what they did wrong. Tell them why God says it’s wrong.
xxiii) Dad that means, “because I said so” is not an appropriate answer.
xxiv) “I love you and God has placed me in authority for your good” that’s an appropriate answer.
xxv) Tell them what is right and help them understand what it was inside of them that led them to disobey.
xxvi) Hypocrites and Pharisees only address the outward behavior. Joy filled Christians are people whose hearts have been changed by God’s amazing grace.
xxvii) Every parent needs to read Shepherding a Child’s Heart and then follow it up with Instructing a Child’s heart.
xxviii) Follow others who raised their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
III) Let me close with this. What about single parents and believing children who have unbelieving parents?
a) Psalm 68:4-6 say this
Sing to God, sing praises to his name; lift up a song to him who rides through the deserts; his name is the Lord; exult before him! 5Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. 6God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.
i) Single moms and single dads, God knows where you are. God has not forgotten you and He will not forget you.
ii) God has promised that He will father your fatherless children.
iii) The orphan and the widow have a special place in the heart of God. If you are a single parent and here today please know that God cares deeply for you.
iv) Your child is not at a disadvantage. God will himself will be Ephesians 6:4 for your children.
v) What does that look like? It looks like the men in this church being that godly figure for those without fathers.
vi) It looks like the women in this church being that godly figure for those without mothers.
vii) When your biological children leave home you’re not done; it’s time to start over and raise up some spiritual children.
viii) My desire is that Mambrino Baptist Church be a church full of fathers for the fatherless and mothers for the motherless.
ix) What is needed to raise godly children? We need strong families and we need a strong church.
x) We need to grow personally in Christ. We need to grow strong as a family. And we need to impact our community with the gospel.
xi) God is working in us and through us. Let’s follow Him and I know God will do great things.
The Importance of Marriage- Ephesians 5:21-33
Text: Ephesians 5:21-33 7/27/08 a.m.
Thesis: Marriage illustrates the love of Christ for the church and the church’s submission to Christ.
Intro: Throughout the sermon this morning which will be all about the importance of marriage there will be Scripture interspersed.
The difference is I won’t be reading those passages. Instead, some of our 4th, 5th, and 6th graders will be sharing those passages from memory.
Each day at camp there was a specific passage to memorize and I’m so proud of our students because all 5 of our campers memorized all four passages.
Keegan French will start us of by quoting Romans 12:2
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
We’re doing a brief series on the importance of the family because the world is pressuring us to conform to them and that’s exactly what is happening.
There is little difference today between Christian and worldly marriages, parenting, fathers, and mothers.
It is time for the church to rise up and be transformed. It is a battle for our minds. When we think God’s thoughts we are transformed into his image.
When we think the world’s thoughts we are conformed to the world’s way of doing things.
Let’s engage our minds, dig into Ephesians 5:21-33, and see God transform our marriages.
Read Ephesians 5:15-33
I) Principle one: Christian marriage is a relationship made up of two Christians.
a) At the foundation of what it means to be a Christian is a desire to put others first.
i) Now is a great time to be reminded of the truth found in Colossians 3:1&2. Christopher Smith will share this one with us.
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
ii) What I’m about to tell you is a heavenly thing. It is a truth that is not of this world.
iii) If you don’t set your heart to want what God wants then your family and this church will suffer.
iv) If you set your mind to think and live God’s way then your family and this church will be blessed.
v) Every believer is called upon to put others first.
vi) Colossians 5:21 tells us that part of what it means to be filled with the Spirit is to submit to one another our of reverence for Christ.
vii) To be submissive is to make yourself subordinate to another. It’s to willingly do it his way or her way.
viii) Philippians 2:3 says, “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”
ix) In the same way that Jesus did not play the God-card to trump everyone else’s desires so too none of us should play our power-card to force others to follow our wishes.
x) We must not force. We must serve. We must give up what we want so that others can have what they want.
xi) This principle must guide the church. It’s not about me it’s about you.
xii) The thing we must note in this call to mutual submission is that it does not remove all roles or positions of authority.
xiii) Because Jesus would not force his way on people just because he was God did not change that fact that he is God and has all authority.
xiv) The call to mutual submission does not remove the authority of husbands, parents, masters, or even the government.
xv) What the call to mutual submission does is place all these roles under the umbrella of the basic principle that we give up our desires for the good of others because of a holy fear of Christ.
xvi) This word translated “reverence” or “respect” in Ephesians 5:21&33 carries mainly the idea of a reverential fear.
xvii) Because of what we know about the person and work of Jesus. Specifically because of the passage we are memorizing, Colossians 1:13-20, we are to give up our desires so that others can realize all the good that Christ is for them.
xviii) So, ladies as your reverential fear of Christ grows and your desire to do good to your husband grows this will cause your desire to submit to him grow.
xix) Men, as your reverential fear of Christ grows and your desire to do good to your wife grows this will cause your love for her to grow.
xx) Ephesians 5 is not about God demanding wives submit and husbands love. Ephesians 5 is about being transformed into the image of Jesus Christ so that like the church wives will submit and like Christ husbands will love.
xxi) Kalub Snyder is going to tell us what this is all about from Colossians 1:8-10
But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.
II) Principle two: wives submit to their husbands like the church submits to Christ
a) For wives and husbands both it is crucial to notice that there are no qualifications put on the call to submit and love.
i) Wives do not submit because or after their husbands start loving.
ii) Husbands do not love because or after their wives start loving.
iii) Wives are to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord.
iv) This does not mean the husband is infallible and exercises eternal dominion over everything.
v) What this means is that when a wife chooses to follow the leadership of her husband she needs to understand that her subordination to him is just as if she is putting herself under Christ.
vi) The wife does not follow her husband into sin in the same way that the church would not follow Christ into sin.
vii) The wife follows her husband because he is her leader just like Christ is the leader of the church.
viii) Verse 23 says, every wife should submit because the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church.
ix) Here, the connotation of “head” is that of leadership or authority.
x) Christ leads the church and has authority over it. As the leader and authority over the church Christ places men to lead the church.
xi) Since Christ leads every Christian and every relationship instituted by God Christ also places mean to lead the marriage relationship.
xii) What’s amazing about this passage is how much of the gospel runs through it.
xiii) The reason for this is because a husband and wife’s relationship is meant to illustrate the gospel.
xiv) The church looks to Jesus.
xv) “The church’s submission to Christ means ‘looking to its head for his beneficial rule, living by his norms, experiencing his presence and love, receiving from him gifts that will enable growth to maturity, and responding to him in gratitude and awe” (Lincoln, 372).
xvi) Jesus died to redeem us why should we not submit to Him? With this mentality the wife should submit to her husband in everything.
xvii) There is no limit to her godly submission. There is no stipulation put on the extent of her godly submission.
xviii) Every wife is called by God to follow the leadership of her husband not because this is the right thing to do.
xix) Every wife is called by God to follow the leadership of her husband because when she follows him it’s as if she’s following Christ.
xx) To reject her husband’s leadership is the equivalent of rejecting the leadership of Christ.
III) Principle three: husbands love their wives like Christ loves the church
a) Husbands love by giving themselves totally to their wives.
i) Guys we are called to love our wives like Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.
ii) 1 Corinthians 13:3 says, “If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”
iii) If I work 60 hours a week to provide for every want, if I burn myself out to get the kids into college and pay off the cars but do not love her I gain nothing.
iv) The world wants us men to conform. The world wants us to believe that if we pay the bills we are doing our job as husbands and fathers.
v) But the word of God transforms us. It’s not enough to give 60 or 80 hours a week. God demands that we give 168 hours a week, that’s every hour.
vi) We must give ourselves, our energy, our dreams, and our goals for the good of our wives
vii) The reason we love sacrificially is not to get her to submit
b) The reason we love sacrificially is to give her what is best
i) Verse 26 says Jesus gave himself completely for the church so that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.
ii) Jesus did not give himself for us so that we would submit to him. Jesus gave himself completely for us so that we would be redeemed, sanctified, and set apart for him.
iii) The filthy needed washing. It’s the image of the abandoned child of Ezekiel 16 who is set apart, cleansed, and dressed with the finest of clothes.
iv) The abandoned and filthy child is made royalty by the choosing and washing of God.
v) The word by which all of us are cleansed is the word of the gospel. We are sanctified or set apart for God by Jesus’ work on the cross.
vi) We learn of that work and put our faith in Christ as we hear the message of Christ’s redeeming work.
vii) This message is the gospel. This gospel is the power of God unto salvation.
viii) And our salvation is Christ’s goal. That salvation is pictured in verse 27 as being presented to Christ in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
ix) The crimson stain of sin is made like wool. The scarlet stain of sin is made white as snow (Is 1:18).
x) Every Christian is set apart for God. Every Christian is sanctified in Christ. This is true of us now. We will enjoy in fullness what is ours now when Christ comes again.
xi) When we see Him face to face we will become like him (1Jn 3:2).
xii) The spotless lamb will make his people spotless. In Him there will be no memory, stain, or pain because of sin. We will be holy and without blemish.
xiii) Jesus’ desire is our holiness. His desire for our holiness and purity drove Him to die to secure a people who would reflect to Him his splendor.
c) Husbands must love their wives in the same way
i) Read verse 28
ii) Husbands do not save their wives. Husbands cannot die to purify their wives.
iii) What husbands are called to do is love their wives and if necessary die for their wives to secure what is best for their wives.
iv) Let’s jump ahead to verse 31 and use it to explain verses 28-31 (read 31)
v) In marriage something amazing and profound happens. Two individuals are made one flesh.
vi) Think about a wedding and the unity candle here. You start with two candles and after God joins the two there is only one candle.
vii) In the marriage relationship the husband is the head and the wife is the body.
viii) In the same way that Christ loved the church and gave himself up for his body. So also, a husband is called to love his wife and give himself up for his body.
ix) The two are joined so intricately and fundamentally that to tell a husband to love his wife is to tell him to love himself.
x) John Calvin wrote, “An argument is now drawn from nature itself, to prove that men out to love their wives. Every man, by his very nature, loves himself. But no man can love himself without loving his wife. Therefore, the man who does not love his wife is a monster” (Vol XXI, pg 332).
xi) Because we, the church, are members of Christ’s body he loves and cherishes us. He equips us and strengthens us and guides us.
xii) He lived, died, rose, and intercedes for us so that we would grow up into the spotless church.
xiii) So husbands are to sacrifice themselves so that their wives would grow up into the spotless church.
xiv) It is not enough to live under the same roof. Imagine if a sheriff’s deputy went to a person’s house and reported everything was okay because the head and body were under the same roof.
xv) Never mind that they were in different rooms. The separation of the head and body is proof that there are serious problems.
xvi) The union of the head and body is proof that there are immense blessings and fruitfulness coming.
xvii) Verse 31 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
xviii) Guys if it is not obvious to you yet that we are called to give more than physical and financial support to our wives let me make it clear.
xix) When God joined you to your wife in marriage. He made the two of you into one flesh. As the head of this one flesh relationship God demands that you put nothing in front of your wife.
xx) Your job, your hobby, your dreams, your sport’s team, even your children are to take a back seat to your wife.
xxi) What God expects is for you to lead in such a manner that you give physical, financial, and spiritual support to your wife.
xxii) Christ died to sanctify her now it is your calling to disciple her.
xxiii) Pray with her and for her. Read the bible and talk to her about it. This is one of the reasons we have a church-wide bible reading plan; so you have something to use every day in the process of discipling your wife.
xxiv) Ask her about her quiet times, what she’s learning, and if she’s growing. Buy her good books and good music.
xxv) You don’t have to be smarter than her. Just like a boss doesn’t have to be smarter than all his employees.
xxvi) What you must do is lead her to grow in Christ. You pray, you read the bible, you read good books, you listen to good music, you serve, and I guarantee you’ll have plenty of material to use for leading your wife.
xxvii) Chelsey Steel is going to come and share with us our last Scripture.
Colossians 1:17, And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
IV) Here’s where we start as we get back on track as husbands who love their wives and wives who respect their husbands
a) First, give thanks to God for your husband or wife
i) It wasn’t you asking and she agreeing that joined you together. It was God who joined you together.
ii) God’s plan is to use the two of you to show your neighbors what Christ and the church are supposed to look like.
iii) No marriage is too far gone. Every husband can love and every wife can submit.
iv) What we must do is get right with God. We must submit to him. We must rejoice in the Father’s love.
b) Second, believe the gospel
i) The husband who stops loving and the wife who stops submitting is the spouse who has stopped believing in the redeeming power of the gospel.
ii) Oh the gospel of Jesus can right every wrong and redeem every sin but Jesus can’t right my marriage.
iii) Believe the gospel this morning. Set your hope on the resurrection power of Christ.
c) Third, start reading the bible and praying together
i) Don’t set out to correct each other or find passages to prove yourself right.
ii) Pick up a through the bible pamphlet on your way out today, start by just reading the family New Testament reading together each day, and then pray when your done.
iii) Husbands, this is your responsibility. I bet the majority of your wives would be ecstatic if you did this.
iv) If she’s not ecstatic then she needs it. So either way, you’re doing what God wants and she needs.
d) Fourth and finally, if your marriage is preaching a false gospel then get help.
i) If you’re a severed head and body under one roof and can’t seem to come together then talk to someone who can help bring the two of you back together.
ii) God’s intention is for you to be together. When we do the hard work, follow His word, and rely on His grace then we can again enjoy the blessings of being one flesh.
iii) The mystery of Christ and the church is profound. It’s amazing that sinners under the domain of darkness could be made holy in him.
iv) There is a unity between Christ and his church that is mirrored in the relationship of a husband and wife.
v) Men, follow God and he will give you love.
vi) Women, follow God and he will give you a submissive heart.
vii) Church, let’s follow Christ. He loves us deeply.
